long time...

...no see. or should i say, no write? i haven't blogged since June, i think. it's mostly about being busy with work and church and love and loss and friends and all the stuff of life.
i'm working on letting the future take care of itself and really just living in the moment. god, that sounds cliche or something, doesn't it? like every self help guru that ever lived... ok, guess i should also be working on judgement.
my life is all topsy-turvy, and i am doing my best to remember all the wisdom i have learned from my life so far. a sikh that visits my office told me that everything is perfect. everything. i'm taking deep breaths as i type those words, letting the truth wash over me, align me with godself, quiet my doubt-voice, bring me into peace. this is hard. but i am content to have the shaft of light in front of me, just enough for the next step. the future will take care of itself. the future will take care of itself. it was never all up to me anyway. god is the doer, and the done-to, and the enjoyer of it all. i release my desire to control what everyone says and does and thinks and even how everyone treats me. i realize that i am not responsible for anyone but myself, and somehow, at the same time, am one with every part of creation. this is a mystery and a lesson that my life wants to teach me. my job, it seems, is to daily renew my desire to learn.