The Knower

this morning i had a visit from my very first girlfriend. she remains to be a close friend of mine, but sometimes it feels we are looking at each other through glass. she had adopted a brand of conservative Christianity, and i...well...i have not. we talked a lot this morning about black and white v. gray areas, right and wrong, and (my favorite) natural and unnatural things. she tells me that there are some things that she knows, capital K, deep in her "knower" to be true. and that's alright with me, can't argue with that, even if it does mean she can't like me, capital L, anymore. my trouble is this: her "knower" speaks for everyone, like a one-size-fits-all t-shirt. i'm looking around at all the people and i'm seeing baby tees and tanks, jerseys and bare chests, polos and button-up blouses. one size is simply not enough.
it's weird, looking into the past and seeing who we used to be, giggly girls who liked to play with ideas and philosophies. we had been fundamentalists, agnostics, goddess worshippers, you name it. it feels so much less like play now, more like finality, capital F. this change has taught me to appreciate disagreement, to see us as more than minds. we are people apart from our theologies, political leanings, and religious affiliations. we are wounded and searching and all in need of an authentic embrace. it leaves me to deal with only hearts, and little by little i am learning to see my friend and love her. because love works. i know that deep in my "knower" to be true.