Westerns

My mommy liked Westerns...
...she called them cowboy movies. And when i am especially lonely or especially happy or especially any-old-thing, i think about her. i see her mixing food with her hands in the kitchen. i hear her humming some gospel song. i see her curled up on the couch in my childhood home eating junk food, watching soap operas or cowboy movies. there she is, standing at the bottom of the stairs, calling my name soooo slowly: "Sam-ie-tra. Come here, baby." she would hug me so tight before asking me to do something, like she knew a little love was all i needed to motivate me. when i was doing homework or studying for a test she would call me her "A-1 student" and say how smart i was. "sharp as a tack!" my god, i miss her. i miss her like i never thought i could, like i never knew a person could miss another person. i miss her flowery dresses and fat fingers with all those rings. i miss painting her toenails while she told me stories about people in our family and me when i was a baby. i miss hearing her snore and taking off her glasses. she always fell asleep in her glasses. we buried her in her glasses.
My mommy liked Westerns. she was my first love.